For many of my clients, the strictly staged formal photos of yesteryear just aren’t a huge priority. Now, please don’t get me wrong - wedding portraiture is a tradition that literally predates the camera, so I’m not downplaying its importance - but let’s just say that if perfectly proper portraits were at the tippety-top of your wish list, you probably wouldn’t be considering a photographer whose “About Me” page prominently features a little kid wearing a fancy bra as a hat.
This one! (Which I use surprisingly often...)
…Anyway, with so much else to plan for your wedding day, it’s natural to just keep shuffling the lower-priority items to the bottom of your list. However, if the family formals are mainly just something you’re doing “because my grandma will love them” or “because they’ll be nice to have someday,” It’s actually more important to prepare a detailed list. Why? Because wedding portraiture is a tradition that literally predates the camera. People expect it, so if you’re trying to keep the photo list concise, we need to make absolutely sure everyone understands that it’s a deliberate choice. Otherwise, some kind, sincerely well-meaning relative is going to think: “oh, no! They forgot the second cousins twice removed - they’ll be devastated when they realize their mistake! I’d better just sneak out and gather everyone…”
Twenty minutes later, a quarter of your family is off trying to find the other half, your few remaining stragglers are on the restless verge of joining the hunt, there’s a kid in the corner crying and trying to bury his face in your cake, the distant relative you never planned on including is planted in the first row (while on her third Margarita), and your sweet, sweet reception time is just ticking inexorably away.
Though at least it leaves time for selfies...
So, how we prevent the madness?
Simple. There’s something undeniably powerful about a physical prop - if I can hold up a piece of paper and announce “here’s a list of every group photo the couple wants - let’s get started!” it really nips all of that portrait-derailing mayhem right in the bud. Also, if some of your most helpful relatives also happen to be the ones with the most…errr…forceful personalities, my authority increases exponentially when I can run through all those names roll call style (ten-hut!). If someone still manages to interject his/her own time-consuming special request (“Oh, but of course we need to assemble all 97.5 members of the extended family! And the family goldfish! Honey - don’t you love Goldie anymore?!”), the list empowers me to say “what a great idea! You should gather folks together during some downtime in the reception - just let me know when you have everyone, and I’ll grab the couple for some quick shots!” Because I know exactly what you want - and because I can show everyone else that I know exactly what you want - it’s much easier to herd them all straight through the portraits and out toward the food.
How do I come up with a list?
Well, if you’re drawing a bit of a blank, there are (of course) always tons of resources on the internet. For example: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/a-wedding-family-portrait-checklist-for-your-photographer. However - and this is very important - don’t feel as though you need to use every single suggestion. If you’re trying to expedite group portraits, I’m definitely not telling you that the solution is adding in a ton of stuff that you don’t really want. It’s just a good place to start if you’re having trouble visualizing your list.
Speaking of awesome props...
How should it look?
The object of the list is to be able to literally read it like a roll call, so each photo listed should include all of the appropriate names and titles. For example:
GROOM + BRIDE & BRIDE’S FAMILY:
John - Groom
Janet - Bride
Jane - Bride’s Mom
Jim - Bride’s Dad
Jan - Bride’s Sister
Jerry - Bride’s Brother-in-Law
James - Bride’s Brother
GROOM + BRIDE & BRIDE’S PARENTS:
John - Groom
Janet - Bride
Jane - Bride’s Mom
Jim - Bride’s Dad
BRIDE & BRIDE’S PARENTS:
Janet - Bride
Jane - Bride’s Mom
Jim - Bride’s Dad
(etc., etc., etc.)
Ideally, the list should flow somewhat naturally - the more people you can take care of early and then dismiss to the reception, the better. It’s also a good idea to try and get anything with kids done first. However, compiling the list doesn't need to be a huge time-suck - the last thing I want is to cause you any added stress. It can be very simple - really, it just has to exist. So when you get a spare moment, sit down, get it done, and then go right back to planning the most awesome celebration ever.
I'll just go ahead and leave this here...